a laugh for a cure

One in seven men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime. Early detection is the best cure. American Optdicks is helping to raise awareness, so we created dick glasses.

Yes... glasses for your dick; 4 classic frames: Moonshot (glow-in-the-dark), Hairy Peter, Elton Dong & Blue Ribbon. 10% of proceeds going to organizations who support prostate cancer research. A laugh for a cure! Please join us by spreading the good word. Oh, and go get yourself checked out.

Featured collection


All Dicks Matter

All Dicks Matter

Men Like Their Penises

Our first foray into this project started two years ago over a conversation. We started talking about a topic that most men find interesting — their penis. After some deep discussion on penal decor and follow-up research on the sex toy market, we thought our Dick Glasses would be both amusing and appealing to a large segment of the population.

You know what they say. All dicks matter. So, we spent a few months researching penis shapes and sizes to ensure that our product would "fit" most penises (we determined it would fit approximately 99% of penises throughout the world). Using the findings of this research, we developed 4 frames specially designed for penises of all shapes and sizes.

November 09, 2017 by Stephen Foster
Screw Cancer

Screw Cancer

Dick Glasses Do Good

We want to leave the world a better place than when we got here.  We are also worried that the state of the world is in need of some levity. And we want to do something about it. This is our story. Of the 3 founders, one of us is from the school of hard knocks. The other is a retired homemaker. The third holds a PhD. All of us working on this project have been touched by cancer in the lives of our loved ones. As I'm sure you have, if you're reading this.

 So, you know what? Screw cancer. We're going to have some fun, raise some awareness and save some lives.

October 02, 2017 by Stephen Foster
4 Modern Optdick Designs

4 Modern Optdick Designs

Giblets of Fire

The Master Glanscrafter has outdone himself. With 4 amazing Dick Glass designs, you'll find a Dick Glass for every occasion.

The Moonshot

Inspired by the Beau Biden Cancer Moonshot, these original American Optdicks dick glasses are great for anywhere casual. Need to have a spiffy Malt Vinegar bottle? Or fancy up a pole downtown? Or, maybe just hanging out at the cafe with your favorite person, and a bottle of red wine.

PLUS ... these pure white glasses glow in the dark. Imagine the moonwalk you'll be having!

Elton Dong

Goodbye, Yellow Dick Road! Inspired by the flamboyant Elton John, you'll need these glasses if you wanna become a Rocketman. Good for glamming inside or out, American Elton Dong dick glasses will have you strutting around like a peacock. Available in flashy yellow.

Hairy Peter

For those wanting a little extra magic in their lives, look no further. Abraca-dicka and Hocus Penis, the American Optdicks Hairy Peter dick glasses will cast their spell on all those who dare fix their gaze. To maximize the mood of your latest "Giblets of Fire" or "Order of the Penis" date night, these glasses come in classic Black Magic black.

Blue Ribbon

In beautiful prostate cancer blue, the American Optdicks Blue Ribbon dick glasses will show your support for those around you that have been impacted by this terrible disease. Great for wine bottles, scotch, hair holders, reminders on poles outside, on your bike, on your hammer, both forearms, your dog's tail, your dog's collar, that bench in the park, your umbrella, and, oh yeah, your dick.

September 01, 2017 by Stephen Foster